May 14, 2008

Not for fat hos.

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Submitted by Jc

May 12, 2008

Top 10 Things You Discover After You’ve Left China Part 2

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10. People only shout hello to you on the street if they actually know you.

9. Crazy things may actually have logical explanations.

8. There’s grass out there. And you’re allowed to walk on it…

7. Traffic lights mean something.

6. White lines separating lanes mean something.

5. Driving on the wrong side of the road is usually only performed by stunt drivers in films.

4. You don’t see people’s big, pink underwear hanging from trees when you walk down the street.

3. You don’t see dead chickens hanging on clothes lines when you walk down the street.

2. No one ever congratulates you on your skills of using knife and fork.

1. People still don’t understand you when you speak Chinese…

May 10, 2008

We print so fast we have no time to spell out the words!

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Submitted by Jc

May 8, 2008

Top 10 Things You Discover After You’ve Left China Part 1

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10. You can fit your suitcase in the trunk of the taxi that picks you up outside the airport and the taxi driver doesn’t laugh at you when he sees the amount of luggage you have.

9. The taxi ride from the airport almost ruins you and you now understand why the driver can afford a big trunk for you to put your luggage in.

8. Every time you go to the supermarket in your underwear you get arrested and you can’t understand why. Isn’t this normal??

7. You can see stars in the sky even though you live in a city. Yes, they’re still out there…

6. You get to use your legs more than your elbows when you go jogging in the city.

5. You are wondering why no one is staring at you and almost feel a bit insulted.

4. No one asks you anymore if you’ve had your breakfast, lunch, dinner yet. Boo hoo, where’s the love, people??

3. People don’t assume that all you eat is bread.

2. When you report a crime to the police they don’t ask you for USD10,000 and a car so they can “solve the crime more quickly”.

1. The newspapers actually write interesting things about China and you find that you learn more about China outside China than inside China.

May 6, 2008

Watch out for those bullet hos in Xi’an…

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May 4, 2008

The unexplained division of the sexes…

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Submitted by Shi Yina

May 2, 2008

Find five faults

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Thief passes out among bottles
A thief was planning to steal some bottled mineral water from a storehouse in Harbin, capital of Heilongjiang province, but was thwarted by drunkenness. He threw the bottles out of a window and then jumped out himself. However, in his drunkenness, he fell asleep below the window. When he woke up, he discovered that his head was stuck among the bottles. He cried for help, alerting a watchman, who handed him over to police.

China Daily

5. He was drunk.
4. He fell asleep.
3. He got stuck.
2. He must have stolen more than he could possibly be able to carry otherwise he wouldn’t get stuck.
1. He stole water?! If you’re going to steal something, at least steal something that makes sense!

May 2, 2008

Poly Zlaza offers zoffices?

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Submitted by Shi Yina

May 1, 2008

Food can lead to sex reversal?

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Gotta love Chinese news reporting, especially the final conclusion in this article.

Hen decides it would rather be a cock
Chen, a resident of Fuzhou, Fujian province, has a hen that crows like a cock every morning. The hen had laid eggs until about a month ago, when it started crowing like a rooster. Zhang Hongxin, an agricultural expert, described the phenomenon as a sex reversal. Genes, hormones and food can lead some animals to change their sex. Zhang said it would be ok to eat such a bird.

China Daily

April 30, 2008

Discreetly checking out the neighbours.

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